Jessica

Ok, this blog is dedicated to a major part of life that is rarely mentioned on this blog: my significant other, Jessica. Jessica and I have been dating since April 17th this year, which is not a long time. However, I feel closer to her than anyone I have ever dated. Yipin( her Chinese given name: the Chinese put there family names first, then there given name: in China, I would be Evon Pat) is of course Chinese. I met her before I came to China, although I was well underway with the decision and the processes to come here. She is a very important part of my experience here, even though she is not here right now.

I met her at Oswego last spring semester. I had been friends with a few Chinese students before that. I found the Chinese fascinating, especially the girls. Nothing against Chinese men, who are interesting in there own right, but Chinese girls are wonderful. I just find all of them to be smart, resourceful, gentle, mostly kind, and adorable. Despite my age, after a semester or two, I had many friends at Oz( Oswego). Although the average college student holds no interest in me, individually, there were many interesting, open minded kids. But, I found the Chinese to be more interesting. They were hard- working ( as I was), funny, and different. It's hard to explain, but I felt they had more in common with me than the youth of my own culture. Maybe its the "mystique" , maybe I am just bored with Americans, who really end up seeming to be mostly the same after while( not everyone, just many). My best friends at college was Chinese( well, and Marc huass), Xiaoru Lin ( Lin Xiaoru), who is actually from Dalian!

One of the reasons that i decided to go back to college in the first place was due to an overwhelming desire to get out of the United States for awhile. It was not a wholly political decisions, although the last eight years have been painful as I watched my country become many things that I feared that It would. The general mood in America has been upsetting for me( and for those Americans who want to throw names and shit around, everything that i have predicted since the beginning of this mess has come true. Every single thing! So I was open minded, i considered your view, and it was proven wrong. Better to trust my own instincts. so fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!). But it wasn't just that. America goes in cycles; things will probably change in another direction soon. Politics are stupid,life is what matters. I was also 33-34 years old and had pretty much lived in the same area of the world, seeing the same things, surrounded by the same people. Ever since I was little, I had wanted to travel. At this point in my life, which had just come from a very bleak, hopeless, period of my life where i had really given up on many of my dreams. When I decided to go back to school, it was with the goal in mind to go to another country. Once school was starting to wind down, I started looking for opportunities to travel. I was thinking about Japan for a long time but then I read the email for the program that i am currently participating in. Something about it stood out to me, and My Chinese friends encouraged me to come here. So I started the process and it worked out. Again the political reasons where there, but far from the most important. While I was and continue to be disgusted by the present political status in the states, i would not have left solely for that reason. I had more personal compelling reason to want to be part of the world.

When I met Jessica, I was still waiting to hear from the Company. She was another Chinese girl out of many, but she wasn't. I quickly became interested in her, but I resisted this also. I was 14 years older and from a different country. Jessica's story also complicates things. She is from China, near Beijing, but had spent the last six years studying in New Zealand, and was only in America for a semester as an exchange student. She was returning to NZ to pursue her post graduate work. I was maybe going to China. I pretty much decided to ignore my attraction to her, as there seemed to be no real future for us. Well, that didn't work; after a few strange steps, we became a couple. We also decided to keep the relationship going. None of these decisions where easy and we have struggled and considered each. But what can you do when you have finally meet the one person who seems to fully understand and appreciate you. We try to take one day at a time. Neither of us are stupid; we know that the odds are against us. But it all seems to work, in some clumsly, chaotic way. Order beyond order; sense beyond sense- not at all common or cheap.

I often wonder what people who know me think of the relationship. Do they think that I am some overaged pervert taking advantage of some innocent young Chinese girl? Well, maybe that does happen, but the chinese are very savy; I don't think they get taken advantage of for long. Is it becuase I am american? No, Jessica has no real goal to live in the states. Jessica has a degree in psychology( and is working on her masters), speaks two languages fluently and is learning a third ( Japanese), has traveled and lived in many areas of the world, and one of the most intelligent and aware people that i know. We just connect; it's hard to describe.

I don't know what else to say. I wanted to talk about her, but its complicated and personal. Let me just say that she is the most amazing girl that i have ever met. She understands me better than anyone ever has, she is smart, funny, complicated, kind, and honest. I talk to her everyday and everyday i fall more in love with her. I hope that one day, we can actually be together. She is the most amazing person on this planet and I am lucky that she pays attention me.

It's weird having a Chinese girlfriend who is not in China when you are. but this experience has helped me understand her better, and being with her has let me understand China better. I feel that i am an amazing journey that will take me to undreamed of places, and I feel that Yipin is a large part of it.

Next, I will begin to talk about teaching and school, although that may take many entries to fully explain...